We Only Come Out In E-mail.


So, this will be quick because I have to leave in all of five minutes, but… I just mentioned in an e-mail (to someone whose opinion basically means everything to me) that the meetup I’m trying to gather courage enough to attend this weekend is not, technically, a “queer” meetup but rather a (specifically) asexual one.  This is pretty much the person who, if he doesn’t give a shit, will make it possible for me to (easily) deal with however my family responds.  His good opinion would be great ammunition against my own insecurity.  I have no idea what he’s going to say. 

It’s times like this I wish I were a nail-biter.  It would give me something to do.


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7 Responses to “We Only Come Out In E-mail.”

  1. David Jay Says:

    Thanks for your great comment! You’re welcome to post a link, I’ll return the favor when I get around to updating. I’ve added you to my daily RSS.

  2. Kim Says:

    Great title! You know, I wish I had thought of coming out this way to my family. Scary as it may be, at least e-mail allows you the time to word things correctly. When people start asking me questions, my brain just freezes up!
    I hope this friend responds well… Good luck! 🙂

  3. willendork Says:

    David: Thanks so much! The link is up and should be working now.

    Kim: Thank you! I hope he responds well, too! ::bites lip:: He was really amazing when I came out as lesbian, but then… he’s gay, too, so that might have been a little easier for him to understand. We shall see. But thanks for the well-wishes just the same!

  4. pretzelboy Says:

    The thing about coming out to people as asexual that surprised me the most is that for me the difficulty of coming out is inversely proportional to how important they are to me. coming out via chat to friends in other cities or emailing a friend on facebook or mentioning it to casual acquaintance who I thought might be asexual were all really easy. coming out to my mother was really hard even though she took it really well. i hope that you’re friend responds well.

  5. Carsonspire Says:

    I found your blog by way of David’s Asexual Underground blog, so you can be assured the linking strategy is working well! I look forward to reading more from you real soon.

  6. willendork Says:

    Pretzelboy: I totally understand what you’re saying, as that was pretty much exactly how I felt when coming out as a lesbian. It’s interesting, but my experience is a little different this time around. I feel like there are a few key people whose responses really matter to me, and so I’m most inclined to tell those people. Once I tell them, I don’t really care about how anyone else might respond. But obviously, those people are some of the most important to me, so it’s really hard to tell them. This person was one of them, so I’m still kind of on edge to see how he responds. Thanks for the good hopes.

    Carsonspire: Glad the links are working! Community is good. Having readers scared me a little at first, but as I get used to it, I find that it feels supportive. So, thanks for being here. 🙂

  7. Getting Differences Patched vs. Perfectly Matched. « The Venus of Willendork: Exploring A/Sexuality and Gender. Says:

    […] of biphobia.  But, as someone who has never really come out as asexual (unless you count those couple of times I came out as questioning, prior to rethinking my own desire to use the term), […]

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